Quotes
The following are some quotes from the movie, taken from imdb.com.Marcus: Oh, don't worry, I think your mum is keen on him.
Ali: [Shouting] She's not keen on him! She's only keen on me!
Will: The thing is, a person's life is like a TV show. I was the star of The Will Show. And The Will Show wasn't an ensemble drama. Guests came and went, but I was the regular. It came down to me and me alone. If Marcus' mum couldn't manage her own show, if her ratings were falling, it was sad, but that was her problem. Ultimately, the whole single mum plotline was a bit complicated for me.
Marcus: He fancies you. he told me.
Christine: You will end up childless and alone.
Will: Well, fingers crossed, yeah.
Will: This crying in the morning thing, this depression, let's get that fixed.
Will: I want to go out with her, okay? I'd like her to be my girlfriend, here I said it.
Marcus: How brilliant!
Will: I was in some strange territory. Was I frightened? I was petrified.
Marcus: You don't give a shit about anyone and no one gives a shit about you!
Will: I am an island. I am bloody Ibiza!
Lindsey's Mum: 'Shake Your Ass'....is he Moroccan?
Will: I'd be the worst possible Godfather. I'd probably drop her on her head at her christening. I'd forget all her birthdays until she was 18. Then I'd take her out and get her drunk. And, let's face it, quite possibly try and shag her.
Will: Once you open your door to one person anyone can come in.
Marcus: I think I killed a duck!
Fiona: You selfish bastard!
[Regarding the first SPAT meeting]
Will: I'll tell you one thing. Men are bastards. After about ten minutes I wanted to cut my *own* penis off with a kitchen knife.
[Fiona is crying]
Fiona: Will, am I a bad mother?
Will: No. No, you're not a bad mother. You're just a barking lunatic.
[Fiona is crying.]
Fiona: I mean, he's a special - very, very special boy and he's got a special soul, and I've wounded it.
Will: Oh, please, just shut up. You're wounding my soul.
Will: I used to think I was pretty cool. I didn't mean anything, about anything to anyone and I knew that guaranteed me a long, depression-free life.
Will: Her name was Rachel. She was interesting, smart and attractive. And for about five minutes, I had her convinced that I was, too.
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